Ego and Conscience
In every human being there are two faculties: ego and conscience. The Quran calls these respectively nafs-e-ammara and nafs-e-lawwama. Whenever you develop differences with someone in social or family life, you have two options: either you address the person’s conscience or you address his ego. Matters become serious only if you react and touch the other person’s ego. The simple formula of life is to not touch the other person’s ego, but always awaken his conscience. In this way, you will be able to defuse even the greatest of conflicts. One often gets provoked and says or does something which flares up the other person’s ego. It is this behaviour which leads to worsening of the situation.
Maulana Wahiduddin Khan